Voided Logic -- The Void

[Leda]

Peta glanced from side to side vehemently. This didn't LOOK like that wretched amusement park where kids wore scalped mouse ears atop their heads. Perhaps she had taken a wrong turn.

So far as she could tell, there were no animals around at all; just lots, and lots, and lots of crystal.

ENSLAVED crystal.

"WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE?!" the activist shouted at the top of her lungs, stomping around in search of a hapless victim. "I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS KIND OF BORISH BELLIGERANT BEHAVIOR!!!"

[L]

"Well, well." A disembodied voice echoed around the young woman. "It appears that we another resident joining us."

The sorcerer materialized in front of Peta, letting out a coarse laugh. "Welcome to the void, young lady." He said. "Am I one to assume that the overly charming Julian Robotnik sent you my way?"

He snapped his fingers, causing a crystal chair to appear beneath her. "You might as well get comfortable." He commented, letting out a string of very hoarse cackling.

[Leda]

The young lady GLARED. This... whatever he was, had just forced all this poor, defenseless crystal to do his bidding! And in such an ARROGANT way! Really, snapping fingers? That's like the worst of the worst!

"HOW DARE YOU FORCE THE FRAGILE FRAGRANT FRAGMENTS TO FLOURISH SO FEVERISHLY?!" Peta really does need a dictionary. Badly.

[L]

Naugus paused. "... English isn't your first language, is it, dear?"

[Leda]

"DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DODGE THE DICTATION OF WORDS, YOU DEVILISH DOOF!!" Peta apparently took a few pointing lessons from Wright the Phoenix. "I have LAVISH language skills in my head!! I DID ATTEND SCHOOLING FOR EIGHT YEARS, HELLOOOOOO. (NINE IF YOU COUNT KINDERGARDEN.)"

The pointing moved from Naugus to the crystal chair he had manifested. "Release these restless recepticles from their rustic rule AT ONCE!!"

[L]

Naugus stood there for a moment, trying to sift through the trash that had just come out of the young woman's mouth in order to decipher an intelligible message. "... My dear, are you referring to the crystal?" He asked, raising a brow.

The sad part was that the 'crystal' was not even true crystal. It was all part of the illusion he'd created within the void so that he could survive.

[Leda]

Peta sighed in exasperation. WHY was the world so full of such UTTER MORONS that she constantly had to educate?! "YES, of course I'm talking about the poor, defenseless crystals!! You think you have a RIGHT to just maliciously morph them into meticulous metaphorical furnishings?! HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?! Crystals have the same alien rights as animals, you know!!" Pretty sure she meant "inalienable" there.

[L]

"My dear, this is merely the nature of the Void." He replied. "This entire realm is under the illusion of my magic." He inhaled coarsely.

"The crystal itself is merely a creation of my magic in order to give the realm substance." He continued. "Otherwise we would be unable to survive."

"If this makes you uncomfortable, then I'm certain I can give you something more..." He cringed inwardly for a moment. "... Natural."

The sorcerer snapped his fingers, momentarily turning the entire realm around them into a tropical island.

[Leda]

"Oh, so you think that just because you CREATED IT, with your presumptuous "MAGIC"," cue the air-quotes, "that that gives you the right to ENSLAVE the beautiful, boisterous, bodaciously bland crys--" All of a sudden everything changed, and Peta was actually struck speechless for a moment.

But only a moment.

"Ah HA!! So I really DID make it to that rotten retroactive theme park!! You people must have just redone the entrance, to throw me off! HA!!! My insatiable intellect is impervious to your impish injections!!" Hear that? It's the sound of Webster rolling over in his grave.

[L]

Naugus massaged the bridge of his nose in frustration, and snapped his fingers, turning the Void back into its usual lustered self. "Young lady, either you're completely mad, or just very skilled at TRYING MY PATIENCE." He erupted suddenly.

The sorcerer snapped his fingers again, turning the young lady into a macaw. "There. Now you're actually a creature with DECENT speech capabilities." He said, erupting into what sounded like a combination of laughing and chronic smoker coughs.

[Leda]

"SPAWN OF THE DEVIL! SPAWN OF THE DEVIL! BRAAAWK!!" Peta suddenly erupted, her newly avian head twisting and twitching all about. "EVIL INCARNATE!! ENSLAVER OF THE MASSES!! WEARS MAMA'S PANTIES!! BRAAAAWK!!"

[L]

It was then that Naugus realized god hated him. Naugus growled angrily and snapped his fingers again, incasing the Petaparrot in a crystalline cage. "Quiet, you blithering birdbrain!"

[Leda]

"EVIL!! EVIIIIIIIIL!! BRAAWK!!" Peta continued to squawk. "ILLITERATE INHUMANITARIAN!! TYRANT OF TYRANNY!! SOULLESS SUCCUBUS!!" Suddenly a loud, obnoxious, and rapid-fire CLANG began to fill the air as Petaparrot began to peck incessantly at the bars of her enclosure.

[L]

Naugus snapped his fingers, returning her to her normal form and making the cage vanish. "SILENCE." He demanded, coming close to making the entire Void shake.

[Jamie Lee]

"In the name of Aurora, Naugus, what are you shouting at?"

The owner of the british accented voice stepped out from behind a column of crystal, looking quizzically at the wizard before noticing the red haired freak human he was standing with "Oh my... Young lady, how did you get here?"

[Leda]

Peta barely glanced at King Acorn before pointing an accusing finger at Naugus and shouting, "OBJECTION!!! I KNEW IT!! You ARE keeping poor, defenseless animals captive!! TODAY IS YOUR UNLUCKIEST OF DAYS, YOU INCARCERATING INCUMBANT!!" Without warning, the woman whipped several pails of blood out of her malletspace and proceeded to douse the wizard with them while letting out a loud maniacal cackle.

[L]

Naugus stood stunned for a moment, then he became completely enraged. "YOU WENCH!" He spat. "I'LL SEE TO IT THAT THE ETERNITY YOU SPEND TRAPPED HERE WITH US IN THE VOID IS THE MOST MISERABLE ANY CREATURE COULD EVER WISH TO BE SPARED."

He put his claw to her neck. "There is no escape from this realm, and no escape from me EITHER!"

[Jamie Lee]

King Acorn just stared for a moment, equally as stunned as Naugus had been. At first he wondered just where those buckets had come from, but what they contained stunned him even more.

"Is... is that blood?"

He glanced over at the wizard with a worried expression, before just shaking his head in pity of the woman and taking a few steps back "May the goddess show you mercy..." he mumbled.

[Leda]

Perhaps it was because there was a very angry wizard holding her by the throat that Peta actually took a moment to examine Naugus more closely. It was not a hand wrapped around her throat but... a claw? And now that she thought about it, he had pointed ears... and a horn?

And what was that he just mentioned? TRAPPED??

Peta's eyes widened as an epiphany struck her. "Oh! OH!! You poor dear, I didn't realize!! D: This isn't the amusement park at all, is it?! We're stuck in a GENETICIST'S LAB!!!" Immediately the activist began kissing the claw threatening to snap her head off. "You poor, magnificent, pathetic creature!! I didn't realize at first that you're a genetic crossbreed between a lobster, a martian, a unicorn, and Santa Claus!!"

Peta's face twisted with determination. "I WILL FIGHT VALIANTLY TO AVENGE YOUR AMOROUS AFFAIR!! The sick, twisted, VILE humans responsible for this will NOT GET AWAY WITH WHAT THEY'VE DONE!!" She looked at Naugus sympathetically. "You poor wretch, doomed to live out your life as a freak! Fear not, friend, for I shall end your misery!!" Her attention turned to King Acorn, equally determined. "And you, woodland whelp, I shall protect from ever having to suffer misery!!"

[L]

Naugus withdrew his claw, disgusted at the insane human's need to kiss it. "You daft child! I am the great sorcerer Nagus, not a common guinea pig to a group of imbecilic scientists!!!" He exclaimed, turning and attempting to walk away.

He snapped his fingers to clean the unidentified blood off of himself. "Acorn, do you believe it to be plausible that Julian sent this vile creature here to torment us?" He asked King Acorn.

[Jamie Lee]

"Whelp?" the king asked, now clearly offended at the human who had so strangely appeared "The possibility does exist Naugus. Young lady, do you have any idea who I am?"

[Leda]

Quite predictibly, Peta wasn't even sort of listening; in fact, she had busied herself with preparing a needle for a lethal injection. Giving the syringe a small test squirt, the crazed activist turned on her two companions with a solemn grin. I... can't explain how those two things are successfully put together.

"FEAR NOT, FURRY FRIENDS!!" Peta called as she approached, ignoring the fact that Naugus didn't seem so furry. "I will put an end to your copulant captivity!!"

[L]

Naugus rolled his eyes at the girl's daft exclamation. "Please, child." He commented.

He snapped his fingers, turning the syringe into a live fish.

[Jamie Lee]

"Copulant?!" King Acorn, needless to say, had one eyebrow raised quite high on his forehead with a visibly disturbed look. He shook his head after taking a moment to find his composure, looking quite upset "Young lady, I am King Maximillion Acorn, ruler of Mobotropolis and the central region of Mobius! If this were my throne room I would have you thrown in the dungeon executed thrown out immediately!"

[Leda]

Peta was JUST about to put Naugus out of his misery... but was greeted with a loud SQUISH followed by a lot of flopping, rather than the firm poke of pointy needle into flesh. Blinking once, the activist realized that her needle was no longer a needle, but a squirming and gasping fish out of water. The red-haired woman let out a banshee shriek.

"FLAMING FETISHES!!" Peta bellowed at the hapless aquatic in her hand. "This is NOT where you belong, slimy simian!!" Uh, Peta, simians are mammals... "FEAR NOT!! I will not subject you to life outside of the ocean!!" With an animalistic screech, the woman leapt onto the crystalline chair the sorcerer had previously made and began beating the fish's tiny little face into the seat. Hopefully Naugus could manifest some umbrellas to protect himself and Acorn from the flying fish brains.

[L]

Naugus snapped his fingers, manifesting a large crystal umbrella over himself. "That ought to keep her busy." He commented.

[Jamie Lee]

The king frowned, stepping under the umbrella himself "I do hope you have something a little more long-term in mind to keep her occupied, Naugus."

[Leda]

After several minutes of heaving and smacking, Peta was eventually left with a disembodied fin in her swinging arm. Satisfied that she had successfully 'saved' yet another helpless animal, her attention turned back on the king and the sorcerer.

"Have no worries, my bumbling brutes!!" the activist exclaimed as she produced another syringe from her malletspace. "Just as soon as I rescue the two of you, I'll set to work on my plans to mail bomb whatever heartless hamstrung human SCUM imprisioned you here!!" Peta's eyes sparkled with determination as a rising sun background appeared behind her. "YOU WILL BE AVENGED!!!"

[L]

The sorcerer turned to the king, snapping his fingers and turning yet another one of Peta's syringes into a small animal, this time a baby blue-ring octopus. "Not particularly." He said. "Considering she endured being transfigured into a bird, there isn't much else I can do. However, I'm open to suggestions."

[Jamie Lee]

"Why not something small, mute and buried in a box very deep underground?" he replied, massaging between his eyes.